News Peeball Fans in David Pecker Fury Peeball’s normally placid fans are in uproar over the furore surrounding England Captain David Pecker’s transfer from Manchester Urinated to Ideal Standard Madrid. The ‘Golden Knob’ of English Peeball has left Urinated accompanied by the kind of media coverage that traditionally accompanies a World War. In Spain, the coverage has reached saturation point, culminating with the unprecedented step of broadcasting Pecker’s penile examination by the team doctor live on national TV. With the man himself jetting off to the Far East to fulfil promotional obligations, fans in both England and Spain were left frustrated by the hype surrounding Pecker’s movements before he’d even destroyed a Spanish Peeball in anger. Ray McSpray, Chairman of the Manchester Urinated Supporters Association made the following statement to peeball.com. “The fans have put up with a lot from Pecker over the years – silly haircuts, ludicrous dress sense and a very stupid voice – but this has gone too far. Yes, he’s left Urinated for good but I wish it could have been under better circumstances. We still love him, but no one needs to know what he’s having for breakfast every day while he’s selling Koreans motor oil. It’s journalism gone mad”. Much of the criticism of Pecker has been directed towards his wife, Victoria. Since the demise of her musical career (she was one-fifth of failed Girl Band ‘Nice Girlz’) most observers would agree that she has elongated her celebrity career by cashing in on her husband’s ability at the urinal. It’s a theory certainly put forward by Ideal Standard insider Juan Minoot. “The majority of Ideal fans welcome David Pecker with open arms,” he commented. “He’s probably the best player of the Long Slash in the world right now. At the same time, knowing Victoria Pecker will be prancing around Madrid like a Gucci-clad stick insect for the next five years is distressing for everyone here. As long as she doesn’t try to revive what’s left of her music career by releasing any records in Spanish, then I guess it won’t be too terrible. She is, as you say in England, a right minger”.