News David Pecker Hurt In Lavatory Accident David Pecker’s future at Manchester Urinated once again looks uncertain after yesterday’s bust-up-cum-accident with manager Sir Alex Gurgleson at the club’s training lavatory. Rumours circulating this morning have suggested that immediately after Saturday’s defeat by Highbury Hosers, Gurgleson flew into a fit of rage and punted a pile of Peeballs and groin guards across the lavatory. One of these Peeballs flew across the room and ricocheted off a tap, striking Pecker in the groin. This collision caused the England Captain to collapse to the ground with his hands clasping his nads while emitting a whine at an even higher pitch than normal. Pecker allegedly required several stitches, leaving it unclear at present if he will be fit for the midweek Champions Leak fixture against Italian giants Looventus. Manchester Urinated has played down the incident, Pecker and Gurgleson both arriving for training this morning without commenting, but sources have suggested that it’s the culmination of months of ignored rage issues for the once-great manager. “We’ve had cracked urinals, toilet paper hurled across rooms and far worse,” revealed one Urinated insider. “Some of our training lavatories after Gurgleson has let rip have been in a shocking state. He’s well known for his hair-trigger temper, and sphincter, and I can confirm that he hasn’t mellowed with age”.