News Desperate Liverpool WC Call in Legend Flush Liverpool WC, currently enduring their worst run of form since the early 1970s, has re-signed urinal legend Ian Flush in an attempt to improve their catastrophic recent performances. Liverpool have faced heavy criticism from both the media and their fans, normally viewed as the most loyal in British Peeball, for an unparalleled sequence of lacklustre performances that’s seen them go eleven Peeball Premiership contests without a victory. Coach Gerard Looliér is now under extreme pressure to improve moral and performance from his squad of experienced internationals and Peeball analysts have almost unanimously seen the addition to the coaching staff of Flush, a legendary marksman in the 1980s, as a desperate move to recall the Club’s past glories. The homoerotically-betached Flush is expected to work exclusively with Liverpool’s impotent strike force – Emile Mustpee, El-Hadji Puff, Michael Bowen and Vladimir Piscer – in an attempt to get them hitting their balls and finding the drain again. Barry O’Scouse, editor of Liverpool Peeball Fanzine ‘King of the Plop’, spoke exclusively to Peeball.com about the signing. “To every real Liverpool fan Flushie’s a legend,” he explained. “He was lethal in front of the urinal. Lethal. And he had a hunter’s eye for an opening. All it would take was an unexpected roll of the ball and he’d be on it in a slash. “It’s fantachstic to have him back at the club. We need to rediscover some of our old magic. Liverpool fans are used to watching flowing, intelligent Peeball. For too long we’ve been relying on the Long Wee tactic. Not only that, the moaning I have to listen to from other Liverpool fans is beyond a joke. A few poor results and they can’t speak about anything else. Moan, moan, moan. I just pray that Flushie can turn it around. Otherwise it’ll be another month of misery for everyone within earshot of a Liverpool fan”.