News Bürsht Triumphs at IPF End of Year Awards The International Peeball Federation (IPF) has announced its end of year awards at the prestigious Peers’ Christmas Ball held, as ever, at London’s Savoy Hotel. To no-one’s surprise, the big winner on the night was Germany’s Gunther Bürsht, who picked up Peeballer of the Year for the fifth time in addition to the Performance of the Year for his World Record stand at the Rudi Voller Classic. Given a standing ovation by a room full of his peeing peers, the ever-emotional German wept openly as he dedicated both his awards to his late coach, the legendary Franz Beckenpecker. Matt Slash narrowly defeated Harry ‘The Bladder’ England to pick up the award for Best British Peeballer, although both were overlooked in the Best Domestic Performance Award in favour of Charlie Cockram, who was given the trophy unexpected triumph against every notable American star at the Pasadena Toilet Bowl. In the Young Peeballer of the Year Category, 17-year old Wayne Moody triumphed as expected. Disappointingly, the talented youngster let himself down by not making a speech, chewing gum and having his flies undone throughout the presentation ceremony. However, perhaps the most moving moment of the entire evening was an off-the-cuff remark made by James Ramsbottom, the Savoy’s head toilet attendant. “There must have been two thousand pints drunk this evening,” revealed a misty-eyed Ramsbottom, “and yet I haven’t found a single stray drop of wee on the toilet floor. It just goes to prove that Peeball really is a game for gentleman. A week earlier we held a fund-raising dinner for the Conservative Party – you’d have thought they’d never seen urinals before. I haven’t seen a gents room in such a state since Glastonbury ’99.”