News Peeball Wizard Unearthed In a sensational revelation poised to shake the world of rock, musical historians have unearthed the original lyrics to The Who’s ‘Pinball Wizard’. The manuscript, that was allegedly found in John Entwhistle’s personal files, clearly shows that writer Pete Townshend originally wanted the song, the centerpiece of the Rock Opera ‘Tommy’, to be about Peeball. It is unclear who or what prompted the change, but historians at the International Peeball Federation (IPF) believe pressure to remove Peeball references probably came from their record company. IPF Historian Todd Djer was adamant that the lyric sheet was the real thing. “We’ve known for some time that Keith Moon and Pete Townshend were huge Peeball fans and players. It’s just taken us this long to prove it. Take the front cover of ‘Who’s Next’ for example. It’s obvious to the trained eye what they were doing – playing an outdoor game of Peeball. You can’t deny it. The evidence is right in front of your eyes. We believe that somewhere in the vaults are the original versions of many Who songs – ‘My Urination’ and ‘I Can Pee for Miles’ are just two. The discovery of these lyrics may go a long way to redefining the often tempestuous historical relationship between Peeball and popular culture”. The original lyrics read as follows: PEEBALL WIZARD Ever since I was a young man I played the golden ball In dodgy bogs in Brighton I must have wet them all But I ain't seen nothing like him Against any trough or wall That large-bladdered white boy Sure plays a mean Peeball He makes his own distractions You should hear him yell His fans all recognise him From his distinctive smell His control's legendary His bladder's always full That hard drinkin' white boy Sure plays a mean Peeball He's a Peeball Wizard He's always drinking tea A Peeball Wizard That boy just loves to wee How do think he does it? (He's thirsty) What makes him so good? He's been in my favourite kharzis He can wee all day The girls queue round the corner Just to see him play My Peeball crown is slipping My record times will fall That large-bladdered white boy Sure plays a mean Peeball He's a Peeball Wizard He does the Bishop's Twist A Peeball Wizard That boy just loves to Wizz!! (He keeps pouring…) Pete Townshend was in no mood for comment when pressed about the discovery of these aging lyrics. “What the bloody hell are you going on about?” said the guitar-smashing rocker.